“Ala taleem kay liya mujhy universities main apply krna hay, lyhaza aap meri thori madad kar dain, mujhy universities ka intakhab krna hay”, main nay apni bri bahan sy guzarish ki, “Lahore ki kuch universities ki fahrist dy dyti hoon jo Pakistan ki bahtreen universities hain un main form jama karwa ao”, Faiza nay mujhy jawab dia, “Lahore main chala tu jaon ga magr mery sath koon jay ga”, main ny sawal kia. Mera sawal sun kar faiza aik sooch main par gai, halankay meri khala Lahore main he rahti thin magr un kay ghr main koi aisa fard mojood na tha jo mujhy mery matlb kay talemi idaron tak lay jata ya un ka rasta btata, is kay elawa Khala ka ghar Lahore shahar kay aik konay main tha jis ki wja sy udr sy any janay jaisy masail darpaish a skty thy.
“Main Fatima sy baat krti hoon”, faiza nay jwab dia or us ka jawab sun kar mery zaihan main aik sal pahlay kay lmahat ki wapsi honay lag gai. Main ny ak do bar us sy bat na krny ko bola, magr is kay elawa koi chara b na tha. “Main faiza baat kr rahi hoon, kia hal chal hay aap kay, ami kaisi hain, oun bhai ki call nahi ai humain kafi dair sy America sy, humain tu lgta hay bhool he gay hain wo udr ja kar, Asghar bhai kahan hain, un sy aik kaam darpaish hay, jb ghar ain tu un sy poch lyna Azeem ny Lahore ana hay kuch universities main dakhla form jama krwanay ky liya, agr wo thora waqt nikal kar usy sath lay jain tu bht maharbani hoge, Allah hafiz ” ya tamam ilfaz Faiza nay Fatima sy mery samny baat krty howay istamal kiya, Fatima nay kia jawab dia wo main sun nahi paya haan agr khud sy farz kar liya jay tu ya he kaha hoga “main bilkol thek thak hon aap kaisi hain, sb thk hain, bs wo thory masroof hotay hain is waja sy humain b itna yaad nahi krty, je je je je , jaisy he ain gay main poch kar aap ko bta dn ge koi baat nahi, Allah hafiz ”.
“Asghar, bhai kah rahy hain kay koi baat nahi wo jb chahay Lahore a jay main lay jaon ga sath”, raat kay waqt Fatima nay faiza ko call kar kay jawab dia. Is call kay bad main nay Lahore janay ki tyari shoro kar di, ami nay smjhana shoro kar dia beta aisa nahi krna waisa nahi krna, apni chezon ka khyal rkhna, jaisy koi nursery jamat ka bacha pahli martaba school ja raha hota hay khair jo b hoon apni ami kay liya aaj b wo he nursery jamat wala Azeem he hn. Mujhy raat bhar dair tak jagnay ki adat si thi jo main ny humaisha kaim rakhi thi. Krna kia hota tha jag kr bs, television dekha, ganay sunay, koi porana ya naya cricket ka match dekh liya, waisy b un dino Football wo khail jis main ak chotay sy baal kay pichy bais khilarai lagay hotay hain or becha ball dar-ba-dar ki thokarain kha raha hota hay us ka
Worlcup apnay zoro shoor pay tha or main b apna sara farigh waqt us ko dekhny main sarf krta raha.
Lahore janay sy phly wali raat mery liya bht mushkil thi, mujhy wo raat aik nai dunya ki tarf lay janay wali sawari kay manid lag rahi thi. Gahri sochon kay baad aik bht gahri need nay mujhy apni agosh main lapait liya jis kay bais mujhy ak khushnuma khwab naseeb hoa. Suba uthtay he Lahore janay kay liya tyar honay lag gaya, yun lag raha tha jaisy aaj main apni asal manzil ki traf gamzan honay lga hn. Or akhir wo waqat a gaya jb mujhy us rasty pay chalny ky liya rawana hona tha jo meri zindgi main aham juz honay ki ahmiyat rakhta tha.
Lahore ka safar b kuch ajeeb sa tha main safar kia kr raha tha kay muj pay khuda ki rahmat b barish ki surat main barsny lagi. Ya chay(6) ghatnay ka safar mujhy meri pori umar ki tamam khushiyon ka brabr laga. Mery chahray ki hashi ko dekh kar koi b is ka ka andaza lga skta tha kay aaj khuda ki naimat mujhy mil rahi hay or main in sy khoob lutf utha raha hn. Ak traf suba ka haseen or dilkash safar dosri trf Fatima sy aik bar pir milnay ki kushi in dono ka b kia khoob rishta jama jaisy aik bollywood ki film main hota hay, aik trf hero apni mahboba sy milny jata hn or usy izharay muhabbat krta hay dosri trf barish shoro ho jati hay jo us manzar ko or b haseen bna dyti hay. Magr mery manzar main tbdeli is bat ki thi kay main sirf usy dekhny ka jaha tha magr barish nay meri khushi ko dobala kr dia.
Aaj b barish baras rahi hay magr fark itna hay meri manzil wo nahi rahi jo phly thi or main ny wo rasta ikhtiyar kr liya hay jis sy meri wapsi mumkin nahi rahi. Khair rasty b aik mour pay a kr badal jatay hain ya tu zindgi hay is ka bharosa tu koi b nai kr skta.
Lahore phncha or Fatima kay bhai Asghar ko call kar kay apni mojoda jga sy agah kia. Takreban dus minute tak wo mery pass tha. main or Asghar bari baji ki btai hoi universities main gay or aik aik ghanta lmbi kitaron main kharay ho kar forms jama krwanay lag gay. Meri umr kuch aisi thi kay mery liya aisi jgon main khara hona itna khas takleef dah na tha abi sirf unees sal ka to tha. Main nay jald-az-jald sab kaam khtum krny ko ahmiyat di takay ghar ja kr kuch dair aaram kr liya jay, aaram karna ak bahana tha main asal main Fatima ki aik jhalak dekhnay kay liya bytaab tha.
Akhir wo waqt a gaya jb Asghar nay angraizi zuban main bola “Azeem lets go home now”. Mery dill ki dharkan kuch ajeeb trhan sy teez hoany lagi or khud ko yakeen dilwana mushkil ho gaya kay aaj main aik sal bad Fatima ko dekh sakon ga. Hum ghari main bethy or ghar ki traf rawana ho gay. Ghr kay bahir pohnchy to muj pay kuch ajeeb si kafiyat tari
honay lag gai. Main chup chap gari main betha raha or Asghar bahir khara mera intzar krny laga. Main khud sy mukhatib ho kar kahny laga “Is dewar kay pechay wo nazaleen chal pir rahi hoge, kitni khush kismet hain ya dewarain jo har roz us ka nazara krti hain”, Asghar ny khud a kr gari ka drwaza khola or mujhy bola “bhai sahib ap b bahir a jain kin khyalon main kho gay hain”, is baat ko sunany par hum nay ak halka sa kahka lgaya or main gari sy bahir nikal aya. Ab bs intzar tha kay drwaza kholay ga or meri pahli nazar Fatima pay pary ge magr aisa ho na ska. Jb drwaza khola tu Fatima ki ami thin unhn ny mujhy pyar kia hal chal pocha or ghar kay andr anay ko bola.
Mujhy tv lounch main bethaya gaya mery sath Asghar tha. tv lounch ki halat kuch aisi thi kay us ki aik dewar pay tsaver lagi hoi thi or aik pay shelf bna hoa tha jis pay kuch mazhabi kitabain or dictionaries pri thin. Main nay apna rukh tsaver wali dewar ki traf kia or dekha udr Fatima us ki ami abu or dono bhaiyon ki tsaver lgi hoi hain. Main pir sy apnay khyalat main bhataknay laga or Asghar ki baton ko unsuni krny laga, main bs Fatima ki tsaver ko dekhta raha or sochta raha kitni masomiyat hay is chahray pay kitni pyari hasi hay is ki, khuda kary kisi ki nazar na lagay isy. Kuchi dair bad Fatima ki ami khana lay ain khany main korma or plau tha. main apni adat kay mutabik betha raha or pir un kay hazar bar kahnay pay plate main plao dala or ahista ahista khanay lag gaya.
“Chai pitay ho beta?”, muj sy Fatima ki ami nay sawal kia main nay haan main jawab dia, ab tak main Fatima ko nahi dekha saka tha or shyad Fatima ki aik jhalak ki baat na b hoti shyad main tb b chai ka zaror bolta kion kay chai he ak aisi chez thi jo main pinay pasnd krta tha. Mery haan kahnay pay wo bawarchi-khanay main chali gain. Main plau khanay main masroof tha or achanak meri nazar upar uthi or wo nazaleen meri ankhon kay samny chai ka cup lay kr khari thi. Wo ak khwab tha ya hakekat mari samjh say balatar tha sb kuch, bs itna janta tha wo mery smny khari hay or mery liya chai ka cup pkra hoa hay or main usy dekh raha hn.
Humain sb sy zyada khushi tab naseeb hoti hay jb humary dil ki tamana pori ho jay, jis chz ki hum arzo karain wo humain mil jay. Aj kal logon ki khwahishat kuch ajeeb hoti hain jaisy, kisi ko paisa kamana hay, kisi ko mahngi gari kharednay ki, kisi ko America wgaira janay ki or kisi ko koi khas kaam krnay ki. Magr meri khwahishain b kuch ajeeb he thin, shyad un ki wja sy main apni adaat sy b dosron ki nisbat mukhtalef tha. magr waqt kay sath sath bht kuch tabdel ho jata hay, insane ki khwhishat, us ki soch or un ki adaat bhi.
Main chai pinay laga or itny main fatima ki ami b a gain, main Fatima us ki ami or Asghar kuch idr udr ki batain krny lagay. Fatima thori khamosh mizaj ki lrki thi, zyada batain krna ya bht jald ghol mil jana usy pasnd na tha. main bht jald kisi kay b sath ghol mil jata tha, or meri ya adat Fatima ki ami ko shyd pasnd b ai. Itny main bahir ky darwazy ko kisi ny khrkaya, Asghar nay ja kar dekha tu wo Fatima kay abu thy. Fatima kay abu cement ka karobar krty thy, un kay ghar kay halaat kuch aisy thy kay bs teen waqt ki roti b bamushkil pori hoti. Ghr b chota sa doo kamron aik bramda bawarchikhana or aik bethak pay mushtamil tha. mujhy baad main malom hoa jo gari pay Oun or Fatima ay thy or jis gari pay mujhy Asghar layny aya tha wo gari in ki apni nahi blky Oun kay dost ki hay. Fatima kay abu ghr main dakhil hoay shyad unhain mery anay ka ilm na tha, Fatima ki ami ny mera taruf un sy krwaya. Or wo b humary sath beth kar batain krny lag gay, muj sy br br ya pochty kay parhai main kia kr chuka hn kaam kia krta hn, or ab agay kia krna chahta hn. Main un kay sawalon kay jawab dyta, aik waqt aisa aya mujhy mahsos honay laga jaisy wo mera parcha lay rahay hain, magr main nay un ko ya baat mahsos na honay dia or jawab dyta raha.
“Azeem yar mujhy nend a rahi hay tum log jb apni baton sy farigh ho jao tu so jana” Asghar nay mujhy bola or main ny halki si muskurahat kay sath usy ajwab dia “main b ap kay sath kamray main chalta hon, thora aram kr lon ga suba sy jag raha hn” ya baat kr kay main Asghar kay sath us ak kamry main sonay kay liya chala gaya. Humary kamry main janay kay bad Fatima kamray main ai or a kr muj sy daryaft kia kiya main Ice cream khana pasnd kron ga main nahi khana chahta tha kion kay mery galay main us waqt thora dard tha magr Fatima kay pochny ki waja sy main na kah ska or mamloi si mikdaar main lanay kay liya bol dia. Fatima wapis chali gai or takreban panch minute baad ice cream lay ai. Main us waqt Asghar ka mobile mobile dekha raha tha, Fatima nay jb mujhy ice cream di main ny Asghar ko tang krny ky liya Fatima sy bola “Asghar kay mobile main larkiyon kay number hain” meri ya baat sun kar Fatima kay chahry pay muskurahat a gai or kahny lagi “main janti hn mujhy phly he shak hay magr bhai muj sy chupaty hain” is baat ko lay kr Asghar sharmany laga or hansny laga, muj sy mobile cheen kar chupanay laga. Main or Fatima mil kar Asghar ka mazak uranay lagay or yun phli baar main ny Fatima sy bgair kisi matlb ya haajat kay baat ki, main jnata tha humari baat cheet ka safar kidr jat jay ga magr jahan tak b jana tha mujhy har lamhay ko pori tarhan sy guzarna tha. us har lamhay ko mahsos krna tha jis main Fatima mery sath thi meri us sy baat hoi ya wo mery samny thi.
Aik awaz mery kaan main pari, main bht gahri need main soya hoa tha, shyd darwaza kholnay ki awaz thi. Main ny uth kar dekha tu Fatima ki ami kamray main ain or mujhy
mukhatib kay kay bola kay main uth jaon or nashtay kay liya bahir a jaon. Main un kay kahnay pay uth gaya halankay mujhy adaat thi main ami kay hazar baar kahnay pay uthta tha wo b tb jab ami muj pay sy razai, kambal ya chadar nahi thi khainch kr utar dytin. Main gosalkhany main gaya or hath mun dho kar nashty kay liya bahir a gaya. Nashty ka waqt tha umeed krta tha aaj ka nashta Fatima bnay ge magr aisa na hoa Fatima apany kamry main he thi shyad so rahi thi. Mery sath nashta krny walon main Asghar or Fatima ki ami thin, us kay walid suba saveray he apnay kaam pay jaa chukay thy. main nay nashta karnay kay foran baad Asghar sy mujhy aday pay chorny kay liya bola takay main aapnay ghr wapis ja skon, meri is baat ko Asghar ny rud kar dia or us ki ami b kahnay lgen dopaihar ka khana kha kr jana hay, Main un ki baat ko taal na saka or dopaihar tak kay liya ruk gaya. Mujhy intzar tha Fatima kb apnay karmay sy bahir ay ge, or aisa he hoa chand minute kay baad Fatima apnay kamry say bahir a gai. Us kay baal gelay thy or pani kay kuch katry us ki ankhon or gallon pay ab b mojod thy. wah ray payas tu b kitni ajeeb hay in chand katron ko dekh kar mujhy tu nay apni agosh main plait lia halankay pani ka pora jug mery samny pra hoa hay. Dar asal wo payas na thi, sirf aj ghabrhat thi jo Fatima ko dekh kar mujhy har dfa apani agosh main ly lyti thi.
Fatima nashta krny lagi or main us ky hatho pay phni choriyon ko khankty howay dekhny laga. Jb b wo prathay ka aik nawala torti choriyan apas main bajtin jin ki awaz sy aik saaz mery zihan main paida hota. Main sochny laga kaash main b aik chori hota, or is nazneen kay hathon main rhta har waqt is kay mulaim hath ko chu pata jb wo ghamgheen ho kar apni ankhon sy ansu saaf krti tu main us kay chahry ko cho pata. Aik chori jb totti hay tu hath pay lag jati hay jis ki waja sy aksar khoon nikal ata hay magr main jb toot-ta to isy mahsos b na hota khud he isy takleef diya bgair is sy dour ho jata. Ya waqt b guzar gaya or guzarty guzarty mery liya yaadon ka mahal khara kar gaya. Ami ki call ai or muj sy daryaft kia main kb wapis aon ga main ny un ko dopaihar ka btaya or Fatima ki ami kay israr ka btaya, ami ny Fatima Asghar or us ki ami sy baat ki or pir call band ho gai. Fatima ki ami mujhy Fatima Asghar or oun ki bachpan ki tasaver dekhany lag gain. Or sath sath apnay rishtadaron kay bary main btanay lag gai. Unhn ny kuch sawal muj sy b kiya or mery khandaan kay bary main muj sy pocha, main ny b kuch jhoot na bola or humaisha ki trhan is sawal aik jawab b such main he dia.
Dopaihar kay khany ka waqt pass tha or main bychain hota ja raha tha, meri bychaini ka ya alam tha kay muj sy Fatima ki ami ya Asghar muj sy jb b koi baat krty main bs muskura dyta or agay sy zyada jawab na dyta. Shyad Fatima ny is baat koi mahsos kia, ”aap ki tabiyat thk hay?, kion kay aap ka rawaya waisa nahi hay jaisa raat kay waqt tha” Asghar or us ki ami ki
gair mojodgi main Fatima ny muj sy sawal kia or sath he hansny lagi. Main ghabra gaya or jawab dia “nahi nahi aisa nahi hay bs safar krna hay na tu thora ajeeb lag raha hay, mujhy safar karny ka shook nahi hay is wja sy”, meri baat sun kar shyad Fatima us waqt maan gai ho ge kay main such bol raha hn magr such ya nahi tha, meri ghbarhat ki waja kuch or he thi.
Dohpaihar ka khana khatay he hum ghr sy rawana hoany kay liya tyar ho gay. Fatima ki ami ny mujhy pyar kia or ami ko salam dyny ky liya bola. Main n yak nazar sy Fatima ki traf dekha Fatima kay chahry pay muskurahat thi, magr mujhy wo muskurahat Fatima ki muskurahat na lagi or aisa laga jaisy wo zbrdasti mujhy hans kar dekha rahi hay. Main ny ankhon sy Fatima ko salam kia or ghar ki dahleez ko paar kar gaya. Aik martba pechy mour kar dekha Fatima darwzay sy thora sa chehra nikalay dekh rahi hay. Or us waqt us kay chahry pay muskurahat na thi.
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Part 4
“kb tk fahrist dekhain gay universities waly”, bari bahan nay muj sy pocha, “chabis june ko fikar na kro mera naam kbhi nahi ay ga” ya baat kahty he main n yak kahka lgaya or ami sy dant khai. Islamabad main b main kain universities main dakhlay kay liya form jama karwa chukka tha magr main chahta tha Lahore main mera naam a jay. Lahore taleemi idaron ka markaz smjha jata tha magr mujhy phir b Lahore main ala taleem kay liya jana pasnd na tha main Islamabad ko zyada tarjeeh dyta tha.
main ny Fatima sy internet pay baat krna shoro kar di, internet pay usy dost banany ki darkhwast bhaiji or jaisa kay ab wo mujhy jan chuki thi tu us ny b usy manzor kar lia jaisy English zuban pay “accept” khty hain. Fatima sy meri baat shoro hoi hum aik dosry kay baray main kuch na pochty thy blkay aik dosry kay ghr walon kay baray main pochna zyada theek smjhty thy. or ahista ahsita hum n yak dosry kay baray main pochna shoro kar dia. Aik dosry ki pasnd na pasnd ko janan shoro kar dia. Main fatima sy bht saaf neyat sy baat krta, usy humaisha aap kah kar bolata tha, kbhi naam b nahi tha lyta. Fatima ki kuch baton sy mujhy mahsos hota kay usy muj sy lagao ho raha hay or kuch sy lgta tha kay wo sirf meri dost he hay us sy zyada kuch nahi.
Akhir wo din a he gaya jis ka mery elawa mery sb ghar walon ko intzar tha. mera naam Pakistan ki sb sy bri engineering ki university main a gaya j okay Lahore main thi. Is khabar ko lay kr mujhy dukh tu hoa magr jb ya yaad aya fatima b lahore rhti hay tu mery paon zameen par na pary mujhy aisa laga jaisy main asmanon pay hoon or main ny apni manzil ko paa lia hay. Ghar waly b mery is rawaya sy thoray hairaan zaror howay magr unhain is ki waja maloom na thi. Main ny Lahore janay ki tyari shoro kar di, ami kay sath phli martba apnay liya nay kapray kharednay gaya. Bachpan sy nawabzada tha kbhi apnay liya kuch khud na kharedta tha ami ya abu ko bs hukamnama jari kar dyta thaw o khareed kar lay ain, agr mujhy pasnd a gay tu rakh loon ga na ay tu kisi or ko dy dain wo.
Main ny Fatima or us kay ghar walo ko apnay Lahore anay ki khabar sunai is baat ko lay kar ghar main khushi ka aak mahool sa paida ho gaya shyad us ki ami ko bhai ko muj sy lgao ho chukka tha. main nahi janta mujh main aisa kia tha j oak he mulakat main main logon ko apni tarf mail kar lyta tha, na main ny kbhi is baat ki tarf goour kia. Jo b tha mery liya bht faidamand baat thi. Fatima ko mera ana acha laga ya nahi chat katay waqt mujhy is baat ka
andaza nahi ho ska tha magr mera dil khta tha usy mery any ki khabar sun kar bht acha lga hoga. Meri ami ny mujhy Fatima kay ghr zyada na janay ka mashwrna dia takay us ki family ko mera zyada ana bura na lagay. Mujhy khud b is baat ka ahsas tha or main ny b is baat ko tarjeeh dyna chahi.
Main jb Lahore aya tu mery sath meri ami thin, Lahore main main ny hostel main rhna pasnd kia halankay mujhy kisi kay sath kamra bant kar rhny ki adaat na thi magr hostel mian rhna b majbori thi. Khala kay ghar na rhny ki bht si wajohaat thin. Aik tu un ka ghar kafi dour tha dosra main khud b un kay sath rahnay ko tarjeeh nahi dyta tha. Lahore main rhany kay bawajood main un kay ghar bht kaam jata, kaam kia jata tha ya he samjh layna bhtr hay kay jata he na tha. khala mujhy dasiyon baar call krtin pir aik ya dou ghanty kay liya un kay ghar chala jata.
Mujhy apnai parhai sy bohat hud tak lgao tha, main bachpan sy he hoonahaar talbaat main shumar kia jata tha. thora laaparwah zaror tha magr aaj tak main kbhi imtayhanaat main nakaam na hoa tha or humaisha position zaror hasil kar lyta tha. meri ami meri laaparwahi ki waja mujhy aksar oukaat dant b dyti thin. Laikin ab mujhy nai dunya main jana tha, mukhtaleef logon kay robaro chalna tha, aik nae tarekay sy parhai krni thi, or aik nai manzil ko pana tha. or meri manzil Fatima thi.
Mery Lahore atay he meri or Fatima ki baat cheet main tezi a gai, hum mobile pay SMS pay baat krty magr humari baat ka maksad hum khud nahi thy smjh patay hum kion baat kr rahy hain or jo baat kr rahy ahin is baat ka kia mksaad hay. Jb koi baat dimagh main na ati tu “hmmmmmmm” likh kar bhaij dyty. Ya pir “” shakal bna kar bhaijty rhty. Kuch bachpana sat ha shyad tb. Meri university start hoi or mujhy meri university main na sirf larkon kay sath blkay larkion kay sath b dosti karna thi, main nay Fatima ko janchanay kay liya usy larkion sy dosti karny ki baat kit u Fatima ka rawaya kuch nasaaz sa malom hoa, mujhy aisa lagnay laga jaisy Fatima muj sy lagao rakhti hay, ya mujhy pasnd krnay lagi hay. Humari uomar main sirf aik saal ka fark tha or hum dono apni parhai main masroof thay. Lyhaza main apnay ghar Fatima kay baray main baat krny sy goraiz karta raha, main tu ab tak Fatima ko he apnay dil ki baat na kah ska tha, jis ka huk sb sy phla tha usy he nahi bta ska tha. humari dosti bht gahri hoti gai.
Main nay university main bht sy dost bnay magr sb larkay he thy, larkion ki tarf mera rujhaan bht kaam raha. Yahan tak kay jb mery doston kay sath larkiyan hoti main un kay sath bythnay sy goraiz krta. Ya janty howay b kay ab tak main Fatima ko apnay dil ki baat nahi bta ska mera aisa rawaya larkion kay mamlay main thora pagalpaan kahlanay kay laik
tha. main Fatima ki ami or Asghar sy call pay bat krta. Or wo har baar mujhy unkay ghar anay ki talkeen karty or main baat ko kisi tarekay sy taal dyta. Fatima kia chahti thi ab tak mujhy malom na tha or main us ki marzi janay main masroof raha.
Dosri tarf Oun ki ami nay meri bahan ki nanad ka rishta mang lia. Is rishty main meri ami bahan or mera bht waziya krdaar raha. Mujhy meri bahan or meri ami ko Oun bht pasnd tha agr meri bari bahan ki shadi na hoi hoti or meri bahan kay liya Oun ka rishta ata tu shyad main kbhi rishta na thukrata, oun ki sachai, us kay mahanti honay ki kasosiyat ki waja sy oun mery pasandeda logon main shumar hota tha. meri khala jo kay meri bahan ki saas b lagti thin unhon nay bht mushawraat kay baad is rishty ko manzor kar liya. Oun us waqt America main rhta tha. un ka rishta pka hoa or dono gharon main khushiyon ki bahaar cha gai. Meri ami or bahan Lahore ain or mery sath Fatima kay ghar gay. main jb sy Lahore aya howa tha phli baar Fatima kay ghar gaya. Meri ami nay Fatima or mujhy ak dosry sy baat krty howay dekha or muskurati rahin. Kuch ajeeb sa manzar tha jaisy ya rishta Oun or Nabila ka nahi blkay mera or Fatima ka hoa ho.
Nabila apni family kay sath Pakistan ai or Oun ki b wapis hoi. Dono gharon main shadi ki tyari shoro ho gai. Main Lahore main he tha or bahanay bahanay sy Fatima kay ghar janay laga, Fatima ki ami ya khnay lgen tum humari trf sy ho nabila ki trf sy nahi ho. Mujhy ya baat bht achi lagi main shadi ki tyarion main un ki madad krny laga. main university sy jaisy he wapis ata tu sedha Fatima kay ghar chala jata. Aisa nahi tha kay main sirf Fatima ko dekhnay us kay ghar jata mery udr janay ki waja or shadi main un ka haath batanay ki waja Oun ki ami ka muj sy pyar b tha. Oun ki ami kay ki hath ki roti ka maza mujhy meri apni ami kay hath ki roti ki yaad dilwata. Fatima b mery anay par bht khush hoti or apni ami ko yak ah kar tang krti kay aap ka asal beta a gaya hay ab aap hum sb ko bhool jain gen or usi ki khatar dari main lage rahain gen. Mujhy aisa mahsos honay laga jaisy Fatima ki ami mujhy us kay liya pasnd krnay lagi hain, magar hakekat sy koi waqif na tha kion kay kbhi b unhon nay apni zubaan sy is baat ka izhaar na kia tha. mery anay par Fatima kay walid khush zaror hotay thy magr mery janay kay baad un ky rawaya sy main anjaan raha. Fatima ki ami mery liya bht maini rakhti thin kion kay ghar main jb b koi rishta ata hay tu ami ka kirdaar sb sy aham hota hay. Main girlfriend/boyfriend kay rishtay sy bht uljhan mahsos krta tha. mujhy is rishta ka naam b pasnd na tha. lyhaza Fatima ko aik acha dost he khta tha ya pir usy apni sharekay hayat banany ki nazar sy dekhta tha.
Shadi ho gai or ak ghar naya baas gaya. Meri parhai b apnay ahtatam ko pohanchnay lagi aik sal baad main aak software engineer kahlaon gay a sooch kr mery paon zameen par na
prty thy. mujhy apni parhai sy zyada ak or chez main lgao tha jisy main ny humaisha apnay saath rakha, ya wo chez rahi jo meri tanhai ka sathi, or mera asal maksad kay motaradif thi “music”.
Ab wo waqt a chukka tha jb mujhy Fatima sy apnay dil ki baat ko krna tha. salon ki dosti ko aak nay rishty main tabdeel krna tha, main ny Fatima ko call ki or milnay kay liya bola. Fatima nay muj sy waja pochi main ny bs itna jawab dia kay zarori baat krni hay jo mil kar ho skti hay. fatima ny haan kia or “Avari” jo kay rutbay kay lyhaz sy Lahore kay sb sy bary hotel ki fahrist main shumar hota hay, udr milnay ko tarjeeh di gai. Main “avari” Fatima sy aik ghanta pahly pohanch gaya. Fatima ghar main dost kay ghar janay ka bahana bna kr “avari” a gai. Fatima kay udr atay he main bychain honay laga or sochnay laga main apnai baat ko kahan sy shoro karon ga bht kuch sochnay kay baad main ny khud ko itmenan sy rhny ka mashwra dia or saf saf ilfaaz main baat karny pay kail kia.
Khana order krnay kay liya main ny Fatima sy bola tu Fatima nay mujy zarori baat phly krnay ko tarjeeh di. Main ny apna aik gutna zameen pay rakha or nazrain zameen ki trf or Fatima sy kuch yun arz kia “mana hay pyara ya jahan, tum pay tahray pir b nigah, dil mera darta hay yahan, tum ko na kho doun janayjaan” ya aik hindi ganay kay ilfaaz thy. “main nahi jnta tum mery liya kia hoa, magr jo b ho har cheez sy afzal ho, dunya ki tamam khushiyan aik tarf or tumharay chahray ki muskurahat ko dekh kar meri khushi aik tarf hay, mujhy nahi malom main kin alfaaz sy tumhary samnay apni kafiyat ka izhaar karon, samandar sy pani ki mikdar khtum ho jay ge magr main apani kafiyat tumhary samany byan nahi kr skon ga, jb sy tumhain dekha hay mera apna aap mera apna nahi raha, meri zindgi kay makasid tabdeel ho gay, mery khwabon kay rukh tabdel ho gay, main tumhary sath apni pori zindgi betana chahta hn, na sirf zindgi blkay marnay kay baad bhi dosry jahan main tumhara sath chahta hn” jo meri apnay ilfaaz thy, ya sb kahty waqt meri ankhon main ansuon ka samndar dharain marnay lga. jb main nay Fatima ki trf dekha tu Fatima ki ankhon main ansu thy. wo muskura rahi thi magr us ki ankhon main kuch dard tha najany kia waja thi us dard ki. Fatima ny meri kisi baat ka jwab na dia or dosri trf rukh kar kay ronay lagi. Main khara hoa or dono hathon jor kar usy khnay lga “main tumhari ankhon main ansu nahi dekh skta , lyhaza tum please ro mat, agr muj sy ghlti ho gai hay tum main tum sy mafi mangta hn”, meri is baat ko sun kar Fatima meri trf muri or mery joray hathon ko pakr kay khny lagi “ap nahi janty, kuch b”. Ya kah kar wo chali gai, Or main wahan betha rota raha.
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Part 5
Humain kbhi is baat sy inti takleef nahi ho ge jis ka jawab humain mil chukka hoga, magr agr jawab na milay or jawab ky intzar main humain ratain katni parain din ,kay ujalay ka samna krna pary tu wo takleef dunya ki sb sy bari takleef kahlati hay, har waqt bychaini hoti hay. aisa he kuch mery sath tha, din guzarty gay ratain apnay anjaam ko pohnchti rahin magr meri takleef ko koi ghar na mil ska. Fatima ki khamoshi or akhri ilfaz “ap nahi janty, kuch b ” mery kaan main gonjtay rahay Or mery liya hazar sawalon ko janam dyty rahay. Ab kia krna chahya mujhy? kia main apnay ghar main Fatima kay bary main baat kron? Kia Fatima muj sy pyar nahi krti?. Haan mujhy aik baar phir Fatima sy milna chahya or us sy pochna chahya. Mery sath mera aik dost rhta tha us ka naam Abid tha. wo mery or Fatima kay bary main phaly din sys b kuch janta tha us ny mujhy mashwara dia kay mujhy Fatima sy us ki khamoshi ki waja pochni chahya kion kay meri sawal ka jawab mera huk hay j okay Fatima nay ab tak na dia tha.
Abid nay Fatima ko call ki or kahnay lga “bahan salam-o-alaikum, main abid baat kr raha hn, Ap kay or Azeem kay bary main mujhy ilum hay or Azeem nay mujy sb baat btai hay, aap sy aik iltajah darpaish hay, aap aik martba Azeem sy mil lain or usy us kay sawalon ka jawab dy dain” Fatima nay Abid ki baat suni or sochny kay liya kuch waqt manga. Mujhy Fatima kay jawab ka intzar tha, teen din mery intzar main kat gay, in teen dinon main na main university gaya na he apnay kamray sy bahir nikla. Teen din baad Fatima nay mujy liberty market anay ka paigham bhaija or main us kay paigham kay baad us kay btay howay waqt par liberty pohanch gaya. fatima wahan mojood na thi us ki jaga us ki aik dost jis ka naam “Irum” wahan mojood thi. Main ny Fatima kay bary main sawal kiya tu us ny mujhy btaya Fatima ghar main hay usy ghar sy bahir janay ki ijazat nahi mil saki is liya main ai hoon Fatima ki jaga takay main aap ko yak ah sakon kay Fatima ko bhool jana aap kay liya bahter hoga isi main aap ki or us ki bhalai hay. main ay is baat ki waja pochi tu us nay jawab main pir sy ya he bola aap nahi smjhty kuch b bs ap usy bhool jain jo aap chahty hain aisa nahi ho skay ga. Haan agr aap apnay ghar walon ko us ka rishta mna kar rishta bhaijtay hain tu shyad momkin ho magr wo b bht muhskil hay, ya kah kar Irum waha sy chali gai or meri ankhon main ansu bhar ay. Main bybas or lachaar halat main liberty main paidal chalnay laga or sochnay laga aisi kia waja ho skti hay, kion mujhy ya saza mil rahi hay kion koi mery sawal ka jawab nahi dy raha akhir kion.
Abid ko meri ya halat nagawar guzri, or us ny mery mobile sy meri apni ja number nikal kar un ko call kar di or bolnay lga kay main aaj kal bht preshan rahta hn or kuch btana chahta hn aap ko magr kisi daar ki waja sy ab tak nahi bta saka, aap isy Islamabad bolain or is sy pochain kis preshani sy do chaar hay Azeem aaj kal. Meri ami ko jaisy he meri halat kay bary main ilm hoa unhn ny mujhy Islamabad hazri pay bola liya or main un mna na kar paya. Islamabad atay he muj sy tarhan tarhan kay sawal honay lagay. Ami kay hazar baar kahnay pay mujhy chup ka roza torna para or main ny apnay dil ki baat ko zuban pay la kar gharwalon kay samnay bht bara pahar khara kar dia. Meri ami nay bachpan sy ab tak meri har khwahish pori ki magr meri is khwahish kay samnay sab khwahisat aak mamoli si chez kay manid thin. Ghar main khamoshi kay badal cha gay, or har koi meri tarf hairangi ki nigah sy dekhnay laga. magr main b majboor tha, khud pay kabo nahi tha. meri ami ny muj sy thora waqt manga takay wo sb kay sath mushawrat kar kain koi faisla suna sakain.
Dou din guzar gay or dou din baad meri ami nay mujhy Fatima sy dour rahnay ka mashwara dia is baat ko soun kar mery khwas bakhta ho gay or main ny usi waqt Lahore wapis chalay jany ko tarjeh bakhsi, meri sb sy bari khwahish ko ghar walon nay darkaar dia or main naraz ho kar wapis Lahore chala gaya. ghar waly mujhy call karty rahay magr main ny un ki aik na suni or Lahore he rahnay ka irada kar liya. Mujhy malom tha meri ami bohat jald meri baat zaror maan lain gen or wo is rishty sy razi ho jain ge, aisa he hoa meri ami nay Abid ko call ki or usy mujhy smjhany ko bol dia kay wo loog is rishty kay liya razi hain. Abid ny jaldi sy call band ki or mujhy mery ghar walon ki trf sys b sy bari khushi ka paigham dia. Ya baat sun kar meri ankhon main ansu bhar ay, main khwaab apnay or Fatima kay aik honay kay khwaab dekhnay laga, unchi awaz main khuda ka shukar ada krny laga or ami ko call kar kay ami ka shukriya ada kia. Ab mujhy us din ka intzar tha jb ami Fatima kay ghar rishta lay kar jain gen or thori si bychaini b thi kahin us kay ghar waly inkaar na kar dain magr aik hud tak yakeen b tha kay wo inkaar nahi krain gay kion kay Fatima kay waldain mujhy pasnd krty thy or mery sath un ka rawaiya b bht acha tha. fatima nahi janti thi kay mery ghar walay us ka hath mangany ain gay, kion kay akhri baar ki mulakat kay baad meri or fatima ka koi raabta nahi tha, Mujhy intzar tha ami kay Lahore anay ka.
Aik maah baad ami or meri khala Lahore ain or fatima kay ghar mery rishty ki baat krny kay liya gain, khandani rawayat kay mutabik larkay ko jis ghar main rishta karna ho nahi lay kar jatay or aisa he hoa mujhy fatima kay ghar jana naseeb na hoa. Khala or ami teen ghanty baad loot ain or mujhy meri Lahore main rayhaish pazeer khala kay ghar bolaya gaya. main un kay hukam par kuch hi lamhon main waha pohanch gaya. mery pohanchty he mujhy meri ami aik kamray main lay gai. Main un kay chahray pay ghbrahat mahsos kar skta tha.
main ny ami sy un ki ghabrahat kay mutalik sawal kia, ami khnay lagin betha baat kuch yun hay fatima ki family “syed” hay or wo b “Shia syed” wo loog apnay maslik kay bht paband log hain kisi or maslik mian shadi nahi krty, “syed” hona sb sy bari shart hay jo hum nahi hain, hum ahlay shunat hain. Hum ny un ko fatima kay maslik ko na bahaa; rkhny ki b yakeen dehani krwai hay magr wo “syedon” kay elawa kahin or b rishta nahi krna chahty.
Syedon ki tareef kuch yun hay kay syed “Hazrat Muhammad salallaho alaihay wahalihi wasalam” ki aal hay, shia syed bhi syed hain magr wo ahlay tashaiyon kay maslik kay paband hoty hain. Magr ahlay sunat syed suni maslik kay paerokaar hain, ya dono maslik deenay Islam kay bohat aham juz tasawar kiya jatay hain. Shia or suni maslik main bohat si bataon aik jaisi tasaver ki jati hain magr in kay iktalafaat sy b dunya anjaan nahi hay. ya sadiyon porani jung kay do kbail kay mutaradef maslik hain. Aaj kal humary mulk Pakistan main firkawaran hungamarai dekhnay mian ati hay or jb is hungamarai ko nazdeekh sy dekha jata hay tu ya dono maslik he is main shamil hotay hain. Humary haan suni or shia aaps main rishta krny sy b ijtanaab krty hain yahan tak kay dou dost b agr bethy hoon aik suni or dosra shia ho tu un mian b baton baton main larai honay kay amkanaat bht zyada hotay hain. In kay iktalaafaat kay bary main agr kisi ko janan hay tu wo Allama Dr. Tahir ul qadri (suni allama), Allama Talib Johri (shia allam), Dr. Israr Ahmad (suni scholar), Sajid naqvi (shia scholar) jaisy hazraat ki tkarer ko sun lay wo achay sy in kay tamam ikhtalafat sy waqif ho jay ga.
Main ny ami ki tarf phly hairat bhari negah dekha or pir ansuon sy bhari hasrat bhari negah sy sawal kia “is main mera kia kasoor hay”. Mera syed na hona mery liya itna bara jurm ho gay ya baat meri akal sy b balatar thi. Or usi waqt mery khyal main Fatima sy akhri mulakat pay us kay ansu or un kay alfaz anay lagay, or main smjh gaya Fatima kay jawab na dyny ki wajah. Ab main jab kay sb kuch jan chukka tha mujhy ap rasta ikhtiyar krna tha, ya tu main Fatima ko humaisha kay liya bhol jaon ya pir kisi b haal main us kay ghar walon ko is rishty kay liya razamand kar loon. Ami nay mujhy mathay pay chuma or kaha hota wo he hay jo khuda nay likha hay koi insane kuch nahi kar skta. Main un kay ya ilfaaz sun kar ghar sy chala gaya or raat kay andairy main Lahore ki sarkon pay paidal chalnay laga. Meri manzil kia thi main nahi tha janta, main kaha ja raha tha main nahi tha janta. Meri ankhon main ansu ka samanda tha magr bahnay sy kahil tha, main apna aap kahin khoo chukka tha. Raat bhai main paidal aik bayjan lash ki trhan chalta raha or pir aik jaga par beth gaya. Meri ankhain khud ba khud band honay lagen. or main sarak kay kirany so gaya. Jb sujar ki pahli kiran muj par pari main ny dekha main Fatima kay ghar kay bahir hon.
Wapis hostel a kar main apnay bed kay kinaray pay beth kar aik gahri soch main doob gaya, abid us waqt so raha tha. Us ki ankh kholi or us ny mera haal dekh kar muj sy sawal kia kay kiya hoa hay? Main ny kal sy us kay sath koi rabta nahi kia, abid kay hazaar bar sawal karny par b main usy jawab nahi dy paya or chup chaap betha raha. Jb abid ny mujhy apnay hath sy hilaya tu usy malom hoa mujhy bht tez bukhar hay. Us ny foran mujhy bed pay lata dia or doctor ko lyny chala gaya. Main apnay hosh main nahi tha, or meri zuban sy sirf ya he ilfaz nikal rahay thy “Aik ye he tu kami hay” or ankhon main ansu thy. Kuchi dair baad Abid doctor ko lay aya, doctor nay mujhy aram karny or zyada zaihan na chalanay ki talkeen ki or kuch duaiyan dy kar chala gya. Abid mery sr ki tarf beth gaya or kahnay laga “mery bhai tu meri jaan hay, hosh main a ja jald” ya khty howay us ki ankhon main ansu bhar ay.
aik din baad mujhy hosh aya or main ny abid sy pocha main kahan hoon. Abid ny hans kar jawab dia apnay shugal wlay kamray main. Main ny abid sy foran bola mujhy jana hay abhi or utny laga, abid nay mujhy bazu sy pakra or smjhaya abhi kahin nahi jana doctor nay tumhain zyada sy zyada aram karny ki talkeen ki hay. Main ny abid ko bola mujhy Fatima kay ghar jana hay, magr abid bhi apni baat par kail raha or muj sy pochny laga kia hoa hay mujhy sari baat btao pir jahan jana hoga main tumhary sath jaon ga. Main ny Abid ko apnay totay dil ki dastan suna di. Abid meri dastan sun kar ro para or mujhy galay sy lga kar kahny laga Azeem Fatima kay ghar main tery sath jaon ga. Abid or main Fatima kay ghar janay kay liya rawana ho gay. Fatima kay ghar kay bahir pohnch kar mian ny Abid sy pocha kia mujhy jana chahya. Abid nay mujhy haan main jawab dia. Main ny Fatima kay ghar ka darwaza khatkataya or kuch he dair baad Fatima ki ami ny darwaza khool dia. Mamol kay mutabik unhn ny mujhy ghar kay andr anay kay liya bola is baar Abid bhi mery sath andr chala gaya. hum bethy or baat cheet shoro kar di. Main ny Fatima ki ami kay gotnay pakray or khnay laga, “ami nay mujhy sb a kar btaya hay syed shia suni sb kuch, magr is main mera tu koi kasorr nahi hay na agr main kisi gair shia kay ghar main pyda howa hoon ya syed nahi hoon, kia main muslman nahi hoon? Mujhy kis baat ka kafara ada karna par raha hay mujhy bs itna bta dain” main ro ro kar un sy khnay lga “aik bar bs aik bar mujhy moka dy kart u dekhain main kbhi aap ko naraz honay ka moka nahi doun ga, khuda ki kasm jis ny mujay pyda kiya jaisy aap nay apni byti pi parwarish ki usy kbhi us chez ka tana nahi dn ga na he usy kbhi rokon ga, khud kay liya maan jain aap, aap ko us rasol ka wasta jis ki aal main sy aap hain, us Mola ka wasta jin ko aap sb sy zyada mantay ho….”
Meri ya baat or kafiyat sun kar Fatima ki ami khari hoi or kahnay lagi “main kbhi us khandan main apni byti ki shadi nahi kr skti jo kbhi humary rutbay ko chor b nahi skta, hum
syed hain sadaat gair sadaat main shadi kar dain aisa kbhi ho he nahi skta, mahrbani frma kar chalay jao yahan sy, tum humary toot tarekon sy anjaan ho, tum shiyat ko jantay tak nahi meri beti ko kia khaak us kay mahab kay mutabik rakho gay”, tum tu apnay rasool kay bary main kuch nahi janty un ki aal kay bary main kia ilm rakho gay. Fatima ya sb batain aik dewar kay pechay chup kar sunti rahi or roti rahi magr us ny apnay ansu kbhi kisi ko nazar na anay diya. Itnay main Fatima kay walid a gay or Fatima ko awaz dy kar khnay lagay Fatima kia tum wo sb kro ge jo hum chahty hain? Fatima nay jawab dia je main wo he kron ge, kia tum chahti ho tumhary maanbaap tumhara rishta aik murtad ko dy dain? Fatima sawal kay jawab pay chup rahi, us kay walid nay pir sy sawal ko dohraya or unchi awaz main Fatima ko mukhatib kia, Fatima nay apni dard bhari awaz main bola aap jo faisala krain gay mery liya wo haq ho ga. Ya sunty he main or Abid wahan sy uth kar chalu gay.
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Part 6
Main murtad hoon, main tu shiyat kia suniyat kay bary main kuch b nahi tha janta. Aaj main khud ko ainay main dekh kar kahnay laga tu murted hay Azeem, tujhy kisi kay maslik kay bary main dour ki baat apnay maslak kay bary main b kuch nai pta. Islamabad janay kay bary main socha magr mujhy smjh nahi a rahi thi main apnay dukh ko kaisy chupaon ga lyhaza main nay Islamabad janay sy guraiz kia.
Aik martba rasty sy guzarty waqt aik inshtyhaar meri nazar sy guzra, us pay majlisy aza kay bary main tahreer tha or satha kuch allam hazraat kay naam wgaira likhay howay thy. Main ny usy dekha or udr janay ka irada kar liya. Yahan aik shair arz krna pasnd karon ga
“Suna hay rabbt hay un ko kharab halon say tu hum b khud ko barbaad kar kay dekhty hain”
Main kion kay Lahore shahar main kafi salon sy rah raha tha tu mujhy wo jaga dhondnay main zyada takleef na hoi. Jaisy he main azaa khanay main dakhil howa main nay aik ajeeb sa manzar dekha, wahan muktaleef mahngay iksaam kay kapron ki bani chadarain jin pay Allah, Muhammad, Ali, Fatima, Hassan, Hussain likha tha kisi pay Khoon sy Mola Hussain or Barah(12) imam kay naamon ko bht pyaray tarekay sy likha gaya tha. Aik konay pay Chandi or Sonay kay panjay aik Bans pay lagay howay thay or un par Mola Abbas Alamdaar likha howa tha, Us bans ko aik khoobsorat sy kapray sy ghaira howa tha, or panjay kay nechay aik kapra latak raha tha jis pay Mola Abbas ko urdu or arbi zuban main likha howa tha mery pochnay par mujhy btaya gaya isay Elam kahty hain. Elam kay pass he Hazrat Hassan (r.a), Hazrat Hussain (r.a), Hazrat Ali (r.a) or Muhammad (s.w) kay roza mubarik ki shabeeh pari hoin thin. Loog atay un ko a kar chumtay hath lga kay apnay kapro or sr par phairty. Kuch loog dhagay bandhtay. Mery liya ya sub ko naya tha, main nay apni zindgi main aaj tak ya sb na dekha tha. Mujhy ya sub dekha kar ghotan si honay lagi. Waha aik zaeef admi betha hoa tha, us kay hath main tasbi or zuban pay Allah kay namoon ka zikar tha. Main us kay pass gaya or jo kuch dekha or mahsos kiya sub bayan kar dia or in sub chezon ki waja pochi. Us admi nay mujhy btaya ya jo loog dhagay bandh rahay hain ya manat hay, Allah sy in shohda kay naam par kisi chez kay badlay kisi chez kay talabgar hain. Main nay hairangi sy us ki taraf dekha or pocha shohada koon or wo admi mujhy islami tarekh kay us moor pay la gaya jaha sy Shia or suni do maslikon ki shorowat hoi. Hazrat Hussain (r.a) ki
shahadat kay bary main btaya, Alay Muhammadi kay rutbaat ko bht wazay toor par pyar kia. Main ny us sy Shia or suni maslik kay iktalafat kay bary main sawali kia, us nay mujhy yak ah kar jawab dia “Suni or shia aik jism kay do aza hain, Islam wo jism hay, dono aik dosry kay bgair adhoray hain magr ya dono kbhi mil nahi skty”, achanak aik awaz kaan main pari Agha sahib tashreef la rahy hain. Agha sahib nay atay he Majlis shoro kar di, majlis main bar bar darod shareef para jata or mukhtalif naray lgay jatay loog agha sahab ki achi achi baton pay wah wah karty, Agha sahib nay majlis ki shorowat bht khush mazaj andaaz main ki or Islami tareekh ko byan karty rahy, aik waqt aya kay khush mazaji kami honay lagi or tarekhi baton main shahadaty Hussain ka tarkara shoro kar dia jis pay Agha sahab kay sath sath sabhi loog ronay lagay yahan tak kay batain kuch aisi thin meri b ankhon main ansu anay lagay. Jaisy he majlis apnay ahtataam oay pohnchi nojawaan mard aik dosry kay samnay kitaar bna kar kharay ho gay or apnay senay pay pori jaan kay sath hath marny lagay or unchi awaz main “Ya-hussain”. Abhi main us kitaar main shamil na tha, usi zaeef admi sy pochny par mujhy pata chala isat matam khty hain or ya matam ki kisam hay jisy senakhobi kahty hain ya matam Shohda ki yaad main kiya jata hay. Ya baat sun kar us nay mujhy b matam karny ki tajveez di. Main nay is tajveez ko manxor kiya or matam karnay walon ki kataar main khara ho gaya or matam shoro kar dia. Pahly pahly thori takleef hoi magr teen chaar bar senay pay marnay kay baad mujhy us takleef ka ahsas na raha, ya takleef us takleef sy bht hud tak hakeer thi jo mujhy Fatima kay jawab or us ki ami abu kay ilfaaz nay di thi. Matam apnay ahtatam pay pohncha or namaz ka waqt a gaya. humary ghar main humain jis tarekay sy namaz sikhai gai yhana ki namaz ka treka us sy thora mukhtalif tha, usi zaeef admi nay mujhy apnay tarekay sy namaz parna sekhai or kahnay laga agr tumhary dil main koi hajaat hay tu manat maang lo ya sab ko dyty hain tumhain b mil jay ga jo tum chahty ho. Main nay namaz kay baad wapsi main jaty waqt aik dhaga tajziya say sath band dia or ro ro kar un kay hazor Allah sy mery liya Fatima ko manganay ka bola or pir azakhanay sy chala gaya or wapis jaty waqt mujhy aik nai baat pata chali azakhanay ko Imambargah b kaha jata hay or ya lafz main phly b kai baar sun chukka tha magr itni tofeek na hoi thi kay is kay bary main kisi sy poch lon.
“Kahan gay thy tum, ya tumhari senay ka rang laal kion hay” main nay Abid ko jawab na dia or bas yak ha dia kuch nahi hay aisy he hay. Main nahi janta main nay thik kia ya ghalat kia magr ya sb Fatima kay liya kia, mujhy usy har haal mian pana tha bayshak us kay liya mujhy kuch or b karna prta main wb b kar jata. Aik “syed” kitna aham tha aaj mujhy andaza honay laga, hum main or un main kia fark tha mujhy aaj pata chala. Kion Fatima ki ami nay is rishty sy saaf inkaar kar dia, kion Fatima nay mujhy bola main kuch nahi smjh
skta ya sb ka andaza mujhy aaj us imambargah main hoa. Meri aik dost syed tha meri us sy bht arsay say baat na hoi thi us ka naam Syed Imran bakir tha. Main nay us sy rabta bahal kia. Wo pichlay teen saal sy Lahore rah raha tha, main sy milnay chala gaya. humari molakaat main main ny us sy aik syed kay rahnay ka treka daryaaft kiya or aik shia syed kay yakeen or adaat kay bary main pocha. Us ny pochay syedon kay rehan sehan ka treka btaya. Us nay mujhy aik kari j okay shandi ki bani hoi thi kharednay ko bola or sedhay hath ki kalai pay pehanany ko bola. Main ny us ki btai hoi tama tajaveez ko goor sy suna or aik kari, Mola Ali likha hoa locket khareda. Kalay lal or sabz rang kay dhagay imambargah kay bahir sy khareday or kalai pay band liya. Zyada sy zyada kala sute pahanany ki koshish krnay laga.
Main apnay holiye sy aik shia he lag raha tha or mery rang roop adaat sy koi ya nahi kah skta tha main syed nahi hoon. Khty hain zyada tar syed khoobsorat hotay hain, muj main b khoobsorti ki kami na thi. Meri ami ko ab tak mery toor tarekon holiye or nai adaat kay bary main ilm na tha. Yahan tak kay Abid ny b mery mana karny ki waja sy un ko nahi btaya tha. Aik din main aik majlis kay liya rawana hoa, mujy nahi malom tha aaj meri zindgi kis mour pay ja khari hoge. Aaj mera samna kis hakekat sy ho ga. Main chahta tha Fatima kay ghar walay mujhy is haal main dekhain or wo is rishty sy haan kar dain. Muj par sy Murtad honay ka ilzam khatum mita dain. Is baar ki majlis Fatima kay ghar kay kareeb wali imambargah main thi. Main jaisy he imambargah kay bahir pohncha main ny Asghar ko dekha, Asghar ko dekhty he mujhy is baat ka andaza ho gaya Fatima us kay ami abu b yahan zaror hoon gay. Asghar nay ab tak mujhy nahi dekha tha. Main ny apna chahra chupaya or imambargah main dakhil ho gaya. majlis shoro hoi or majlis kay ahtatam par matam kay liya katarain banany lagen. main jis katar main ja kar khara hoa us kay bilkol samny Asghar khara tha or Mery bilkol sath bain tarf Fatima kay abu kharay thy. Dono ki nazar muj par pari or wo mujhy dekh kar hairaan rah gay, unhon nay mujhy sar sy paon tak dekha or mery nay holiye ko dekh kar un ki ankhain kholi ki kholi rah gain. Main ny un ki tarf aik negah dali or matam shoro kar dia. Jaisy he matam khtum hoa namaz ada hoi or namaz kay baad main Hazrat Imam hussain (r.a) kay chotay byty kay naam par jo jholay ko bnaya gaya tha us kay pass gaya or manat mani, manat bs aik lafz hay main ny apni zindgi ki darkhwast ki. Jaisy he main pichy mora Fatima or us ki ami meri pichy khari thin. Mery senay kay batan kholay howay thy or seena lal tha jis sy saaf zahir ho raha tha main matam kar kay aya hoon. Mera ya haal dekha kar Fatima ki ankhon main ansu a gay magr wo kuch kah na saki, shyad kuch kahna zaror chahti thi. Fatima nay aik negah sy meri tarf dekha or
mujhy ya sb na karnay ka ishara kia, main us ko dekhta raha or chup chaap khara raha. Fatima or us ki walida waha sy chali gain or main waha akaila rah gaya.
Ab wo din a chukka tha jis din ka mujhy intzar tha, aik baar phir Fatima kay ghar ja kar us ka hath mangna or apni zindgi ko hasil krna tha mujhy. Is baar Abid mery sath nahi tha, main khud he Abid ko lay kar nahi jana chahta tha or waisy b wo hostel main us waqt mojood na tha. Main jaisy he Fatima kay ghar kay bahir pohncha waha bahir kuch logon ki bed thi or daigon kay dhowain uth rahay thy har aik kay chahry pay muskurahat thi. Main waha mojood logon ko dekhnay laga or hairaan tha idr kia honay laga hay. Waha aik admi daighain banwanay main masroof tha main us kay pass gaya or pocha yahan kia honay laga hay, ya sb kia maajra hay. Us admi nay mujhy jawab dia in kay ghar aaj kisi ka lagan hay. Mujhy us ki baat sun kar kuch hairat si mahsos hoi or daryaft krnay laga kis ka lagan hay, is sy phly wo mujhy jawab dyta Asghar ghar sy bahir aya or mery kandhay pay hath rakh kar khnay laga aaj Fatima ka lagan hay. Ya baat sun kar mery paon sy zameen nikal gai aik bareek si awaz mery kaan main gonjnay lagi. Mera sr ghomnay laga or main ny ghar kay darwazay ki tarf dekhnay laga achanak Asghar ko ander sy awaz ai anghoti pahnany ki rasm honay lagi hay jaldi sy andr a jao, Asghar mujhy us haal main choor kar ghar kay andr tashreef lay gaya.
Main ghar kay drwazay sy ander dakhil hoa or manzar kuch ajeeb sa tha Oun, Nabila , Asghar, Fatima ki ami or abu, or kuch or b loog mery samnay mojood thy, or sb ki nazar muj par pari. Main ny nazar upper uthai or dekha Fatima kay hath main aik angothi hay or Fatima ka kisi or shaks kay hath main b hay, us shaks kay dosry hath main angothi hay jo us nay Fatima ko pahnani hay. Aik lamhay baad angothi Fatima ki unlgi main pahnai ja chuki thi or Fatima nay us shaks ko angothi pahna di thi. Main agay na bhar ska, apnay nasab o nasal ki sachai ko dekh kar main kuch na kar ska achnak mujhy mery pichy sy aik awaaz sunai di “Azeem!” ya awaaz Abid ki thi, main kuch kah na ska, mery naak sy khoon bahnay laga or main gotnon kay baal nechay beth gaya. Mer ankhain khoon kay ansu ronay lagen, mera jigar phat gaya. kuch lifaaz kah kar main nay apni ankhain band kar lin, or wo ilfaaz ya thy
“Aik ye he tu kami hay…”.
“Dilay tamna ho, ya tmnay baybasi Ik khaak kay brabar thi, mery chahry ki ya hasi Inthay muhabbat main gasht kar chukay Guzar jay ge kayamat ban kar, teri byrukhi”
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